Skye .x
Four Words To Choke Upon;;
Look
At
Me
Now! .x



Three weeks maybe, three long weeks had past since Peter left me on the beach, but hey, i had other things on my mind now. Lets go back about two hours;;

It was another day, and that hate and anger i had was building up inside me, that pain taking over again, who was i kidding? There was no changing this mess. I was walking through this place, somewhere in Texas, it was warm, too warm for me really. I knew i was being followed, some scrawny looking man, not worth my time. This went on for a while, i just kept walking, right up until i was ready to make my move. Before he could even think about what was going on, i had him pinned against the wall, hand around his neck, i smirked as he tried to speak, his gasps for breath just fueled this urge to kill. I was a silent killer, no words were spoken. Anyone would have been able to see from my eyes that i was a killer, so much worse than before, this was the new me, darker and stronger. I was ready to kill, i let the electricity in my fingertips charge, his screams as he felt the volts against his neck made me tighten my grip, he was so weak, they all were. In one blast tens of thousands of volts entered his body, stopping his heart, ripping the life from him. I let his limp body fall from my grasp, i watched as the lifeless corpse sat slumped against the wall. He was young, I'd say around his early twenties, scrawny, but with a certain charm to his looks. With a few swift moves i pulled the knife from my jacket pocket, i knelt down beside him, ripping open his shirt to reveal his bare chest. I cut a line down where the heart was found, pulling back flesh as the blood flowed from his lifeless frame. I reached in, finally my fingers grasped the thing i was looking for, his heart. I got a hold of his no longer beating heart and pulled it from his body, the sound was one i was growing used to now. I stood up, this man's heart in my hand, not a beat left in it, i had taken that away. My hand and arm were covered with his blood, my eyes were fixed on what i held in my hand.

Isn't it strange how such a vital thing can cause so much pain, so much suffering... It's so much better this way, you'll feel no pain, this thing will beat no more.

With that i threw down the human heart, loving the sound it made as it hit the floor. With that i walked off, leaving the body, blood still on my hands, i wanted to find somewhere quiet now.

That was a few hours ago, and i had just got the blood of my hands. Another kill, another person without a heart, someone else who would no longer feel pain like i did. I was in some sort of scrap yard, the place was deserted, not a soul here. Ah, there was me... oh and her... It seemed that either i had gone insane or my mind had just screwed up big time, there was a voice there, she had been there ever since that night on the beach. She called herself Charna, and only i could hear her, my own little voice, ohh... how great. I really could have done without her, but there was no getting rid of her.

Another Kill, Skye, another gone. You're getting good at this... darker, stronger. How does it feel to hold that heart in your hand? Good? Great? Well, you'd not be able to do that if it wasn't for me, i am what makes you stronger, without me you are Nothing.

I heard her continue to talk in my mind, a smirk on my face, i was not going to talk back, if anyone wandered in here , what would they think if they saw a murderer talking to herself? I sighed and walked over to a low wall, lifting myself up, i sat there, staring into the distance, so alone, just this voice, Charna for company, i was a born killer, there was no changing me now... well... there might have been.... but that chance turned his back on me three weeks ago.

He'd seen it. I had no idea how, but he had. My heart began to race, faster and faster, the blood rushing through my veins. I was fighting for control over my own body, Charna was so damn strong now, feeding off my energy, off this need to kill. I screwed my eyes shut, i knew what was happening, she wanted to show herself, she wanted to let herself be heard. I hated this, but this had only happened once before, the first time i killed, she came out and guided my body, guided it's every move, telling me what to do. I didn't want her to show herself, not again. I staggered back wards, clenching my fists, gritting my teeth, using my mind to push this freak back into her place. I wish i could have gone back to the times before i knew she was there, those were the simpler times. My screams of pain echoed around the scrap-yard her voice rang out inside my head.

You can't fight me Skye, I'm what makes you strong...

I screamed again, this hurt so much, there was nothing i could do to stop it. I went silent, i froze for a moment, then i looked up, i still knew what was going on, but i had no control over my speech or my actions, it was like i was sitting there, watching someone else control my body. I opened my eyes, but they were not that deep icy blue colour, no, they were green... a deep green. Charna was in control. She made me turn to Peter, she made me look into his eyes. I felt my hands lift up, electricity jumping from finger to finger. Her voice came from out of my mouth, her voice much colder than mine.

Well well well, aren't you the clever one Peter? You've seen right through her, you've seen right to her core... me. Charna. The killer in her.

I was fighting her, her intentions were to hurt Peter, but i couldn't let her. With every last bit of my strength i fought back. There was a blast of electric energy that shot out of my hands as i pushed Charna back into my mind, trying desperately to take control again. Again, my body froze, eyes closed. This time i fell back, laying there on the floor it took a few moments to gather my thoughts again, but when i opened my eyes, they were back to that icy blue colour, i was in control again. I caught my breath and looked up at Peter, my eyes said it all, i needed help.

I knew that Peter needed answers, and i knew if was was ever going to rid myself of this demon i would have to give him those answers. It took a few moments for me to gather up some words. I looked into Peter's eyes for a fee seconds before i diverted my gaze to the ground, it was only then that i spoke.

Well, she always comes out stronger when I'm on the edge, if i die, she dies. She came out stronger a few weeks ago, at the beach...

Now the hard part part... i hated the fact that i didn't have enough power to kill myself, it made me sound weak, at the beach i had tried, but i wasn;'t strong enough and Charna knew it was coming, she had toned down the strength of my powers and she had made sure that i was strong enough so i would not die then. I sighed before i carried on with the answers.

... she was able to control my strenght... she knew it wouldn't kill me, and deep down i knew that too, but i still tried... It's a survival thing, if she thinks i am going to die, she will come out stronger so i don't, just so she can live.

I had no idea if my words were making any sense at all, i could barely think, i was so confused.

Oh, and I'll tell you, she won't be coming out again for a while, she used most of her energy to kill you... well when she tried to kill you.

I hated Charna, but she was a part of me, always had been, but i didn't want to have her in my life forever, i couldn't cope with that. Something told me that maybe i could break away from all this, but there was something else, something in me that believed that Peter was the only person strong enough to help.

I just listened to Peter, it took a little while to sink in. When it finally did, i just stood there in a stunned silence. I couldn't do it, what if it went wrong? What if it didn't work? There was one other thing, i know i had wanted to die, but when faced with it, i just couldn't go all the way with it. I just stood there, fear in my blue eyes, it took a while for my words to form, i never thought i would ever come to close to ending my life, and not be ready to do it.

But... what if it goes wrong Peter? What if it doesn't work?

I had never realize what life meant to me, yeah i had tired it before, bit each time i felt that i couldn't go all the way, there was always something stopping me, Charna.She was a part of me, always had been, what if i lost her and then lost everything else that made me, me? I stood there, shaking, i didn't want anything to go wrong, i had never been so scared in all my life. I didn't understand it, i had always wanted to die, so why couldn't i get the courage to do it? One simple reason, i feared death.

I... I can't...

How the hell was i going to explain to Peter that no matter how much i had wanted to die, i just couldn't so it? Ugh, i was so messed up, i didn;t know what i wanted anymore, but one thing i did know was that i was scared, terrified, i didn't want it to go wrong and i didn't think i could actually do it.

As Peter hugged me, i hugged him back, holding him so close to me as if my life depended on him. Well, it kind of did, i knew this was going to be hard, it would be one of the hardest things i would ever have to do. I was still shaking, all my thoughts were messed up, i had never been this scared before. I knew i had to put my trust in Peter, but i never trusted anyone... When he let go, i slowly looked up at him, eyes full of fear, but i knew what had to be done. A weak smile graced my facade, i then spoke, my words as shaky as i was.

Ok... well, now how to do it...

I put my hand into he inside pocket of my jacket, my hands grasped what was concealed there, i then pulled it out, the knife i used to cut out hearts with. Now, this wasn't the way i thought would be the quickest way to kill myself, but it was all i could think of. A bullet to my brain and i knew i would never come back from that, so that was out of the question. I looked from the knife then to Peter before i spoke again.

well, I've not got a gun, i can't overdoes on anything, this is my only other idea...unless you have any quicker, less painful ideas.

I knew that i couldn't use my power to kill myself, Charna would be able to stop me, so this was my only option, unless Peter had any better ideas.

I hoped that this worked, otherwise i was pretty much screwed. I knew that this wasn't the quickest or least painful way to die, but it was all i could think of now. I listened to Peter's words, i was putting all my trust in him.

Here goes... now I'll tell you now, this is gonna get messy.

I then rolled up the sleeve of my jacket, revealing my left wrist. I thought a moment, with the amount of blood i was about to lose, I'd probably pass out before i died, so i decided to sit down. I walked over to the wall and sat down, my back resting against the wall. This wasn't like me, i could do this almost without thinking about it, but there was one difference this time, i was out to kill myself, not to get back at myself. I was shaking, i held the knife in my right hand, ready to cut, but there was no way i could do it when i was shaking this much. I closed my eyes, blocking out the world for a bit, giving me time to steady my hands and my thoughts. Eyes opened maybe a minute or so later, i was ready.

You better be right about this Peter... or I'm coming back to haunt the life outta you.

I gave Peter a weak smile before i looked down at my own arms, hands grasped the knife, left arm was held out, wrist facing up. I place the tip of the blade at the top of my wrist, taking a deep breath and gritting my teeth, i knew this was going to hurt like hell. In one swift movement i brought the blade down my wrist, blood came bursting through the severed veins, coving my arm. I threw down the knife, the pain was excruciating. my right hand gripped the top of my left wrist, my eyes were screwed shut, head pushed back against the wall, i had no idea how long it would take, but i was already regretting it, i had never been so scared in all my life.

This was taking a lot longer than i had thought. The throbbing pain was all i could feel, other than Peter holding me. I could see the world around me becoming more and more blurry. The sounds of this place were leaving me, everything was so distorted. I closed my eyes and curled up as close as i could to Peter, his presence was all that gave me hope. I managed to speak a few slurred words.

..don't be sorry... i need to do this....

My words were little more than a whisper, all life was fading from my body as more and more blood left me, i knew it wouldn't be much longer. Things were getting darker, the whole world seemed to be getting further away. It was like i couldn't feel anything anymore, the pain had faded, there was no beat left in my heart, i was in the dark, alone. So alone, so scared. I knew i was gone, my lifeless body would be there in the scrap yard still laying there in Peter's arms, waiting for my life to come back.

This was so weird. It was like every inch of my sanity was being pulled to it's limit, like reality had left me and here i was, lost in the dark, searching for the way back into life. It was so hard to explain, there was nothing like it. I was there, so was Charna, it was her turn to go, not mine, i had a life to live. I could hear her screams as she was dragged further and further away, she was no longer a part of my being. I twisted and turned in this darkness, looking for a way back to life, i could feel Charna slipping away, her screams echoed through this void. This was all a mix of confusion, a fight to come back, and i knew there was no coming back unless my heart started to beat again. I didn't know of this was real, i couldn't feel, i couldn't see in this everlasting night, i could just hear things, but i made no sense of them. Like Charna's voice, i could hear it but my mind wouldn't let me listen to her words. I was holding on to the hope that Peter would bring me out of the dark, i had no idea how, but i had put all my trust in him, i was not ready to die. I knew that if i came back, Charna would be gone, it was like having two lives, she was the first to go. I was now lost in the darkness, waiting, hoping that Peter would bring me back, put the beat back into my broken heart.

Something was happening, it was like the darkness was falling away, i had no idea what was happening. Everything felt like it was spinning, no way could this even be a reality, everything seemed so unreal. This kind of felt like being dragged back over broken glass, but with every second things seemed to get lighter and lighter. It happened suddenly, like being kicked back into life, there it was, the one thing that told me i was alike, the beat of my heart. My eyes then shot open, i sat there, gasping for breath, unable to move, still in shock, i was still trying to piece together what happened. My mind was a mix of so much confusion, but i was alive, and something was missing. Charna... It felt like a huge part of be had just disappeared, gone, vanished, and hell did it feel good! I let my eyes accustomed themselves to this light, i was unable to speak, i just lay there for a few moments before i tried to sit up. After a few tries i was able to prop myself up against the wall, my mind still spinning. Only then did the world stand still and i was able to see clearly, here i was, free of the demon that had haunted me my entire life.